Depressing Poetry

Here I walk. 

Alone in the moonlight. 

My shadow my only comfort. 

My shadow a twisted ugly version of myself. 

My shadow the evidence that I'm alone. 

This bench has so much room. 

And I just need a shoulder to cry on. 

Someone to bring along 

On these suicidal night walks,

But that's not how this works. 

The path I can walk alone. 

I say that's fine. But I lie. 

Some can see through that,

But I don't think I can see the truth anymore. 

So my life's now a lie. 

I make rhymes 

And I sit and I cry. 

This poetry does not make any sense. 

Like the rest of my emotions. 

I was done with this,

But apparently not. 

I'm still searching for love.

When I have enough. 

So many lines written,

And not one mention of God. 

That's because we don't talk. 

Apart from emotional engagement 

I've given up on him. 

I "know" he has not given up on me,

But I need to feel rejected now. 

I need to feel forgotten 

Because I need to match these emotions. 

And I've decided this is how. 

I'm still searching for labels 

Of these manic depressive moments. 

I'm still pretending I caused this. 

I'm still alone. 

And I fear. 

I'll always be alone. 

I want these words to hurt. 

To crush others' hearts

Just as much as these emotions have hurt me.

I'd go on. 

I could write depressing words for ages, 

But it's getting as cold as my heart out here. 

And I'm still pretending to be alive.