The Unanticipated, Uninvited, Unwelcome Guest

The Unanticipated, Uninvited, Unwelcome Guest

By Winter Burnett June 7th 2016

A knock on the door and in rushes a guest... Conversation between the house owner and guest ensues. 

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Hey, I know it’s been awhile, but I’ve not seen you for a few months—Sorry I got mud all over your front rug—So anyway I decided to drop by! ”

“Yeah… But”

“Oh look! You washed my blankets and they are folded by the couch! And the guest room is all freshened up for me!”

“Well, I was not really expecting you…”

“Oh… But you have all this set up! My favorite movies, my favorite junk food… everything perfect just for me! You don’t mind me staying a while do you?”

“Those things are just left over from the last time you were here. And well…”

“Oh good! I do enjoy it here”

“Actually I was going to invite my friend over. You know just the two of us talking…”

“Oh you know I don’t like other people! They’ll just have to come over another time.”

“And when would that be?”

“Not sure. I’m staying indefinitely until something else comes up.”

“Well, I’m not particularly comfortable leaving you here… While I’m at work and stuff”

“Oh that’s okay. You can just call off work for a while. I need the company.”

“I guess I have a few sick days left… I can at least catch up on my new Netflix show.”

“Which one?”

“That one I really enjoyed about that couple and their dog moving to a new town.”

“I don’t like that one. It’s so dull and lifeless every time I try to watch it. Terrible acting. Terribly fake. The music is too happy and their adventures are boring.”

“Can’t you just try and watch one episode with me? It would mean a lot…”

“Well, I see how this is. You are trying to get rid of me!”

“What?! No I’m just…”

“You want to do something only you enjoy so I will leave!”

“No, I just wanted to do something that is sort of interesting…”

“So I’m not interesting! Oh really!? What are you doing?”

“Just sitting down, and these blankets make me more comfortable.”

“Trying to prove a point?”

“No! I'm just... Never mind I’m going to read this book.”

“No you’re not! Listen to me. Hey! Stop we need to finish this!”

“Finish what?! You came over here and are trying to tell me what to do! Whenever you come it’s like I don’t have a say in my own life anymore!”

“Not when I’m here! You are supposed to be a good host! Remember? Hasn’t society taught you how to act?”

“You invited yourself over! And now you are trying to tell me how to act! And if by society telling me how to act you mean I can’t have a say in what I do, then yeah.”

“What does that mean?!”

“It’s like you are not letting me express my real feelings! And you won’t let me go to work, or invite my friend over, or let me enjoy my favorite show, and I have not even started to read anything past the first word of this book without you interrupting my thoughts!”

“You’re expressing your real feelings. See? You are crying now, and before that you were angry.”

“I’m only crying and angry because you showed up!”

“Hey!”

“No, you listen to me. I’ve tried to live my life with you in it and it’s not working. You have to leave.”

“What?!”

“I mean it. Leave. This is my house and I am not hosting such an impolite guest who doesn’t let me enjoy even the tiniest aspect of my life! You even closed all the curtains when you came in! I do like the sunlight, and just because you don't like it does not mean I can't enjoy it. And you tracked mud over my new rug! You demand all my attention. You won’t even let me go to work! And simply talking to you numbs all of my senses. I should just go to work, even though I will now be late. And I am going to invite my friend over later!”

“Well, I am going to follow you around.”

“I don’t care.”

“If I am as annoying as you say I am then people will leave you.”

“If the people in my life get annoyed because of you and leave me as a result, then they weren’t my true friends anyway.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just stay back here, and after you get off work you can see me.” 

“At least I’ll have peace of mind while I’m away.”

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If you are questioning what exactly this is:

It's a metaphor, not an actual conversation or a friend that I have. I feel like sometimes metaphors are safer to post than real life situations and problems... Perhaps someday I will post beyond, and not just through these metaphors.