Judging

Story time! 

I was a sophomore in High school on a missions trip and during the first week before we were to be "sent out" we all went to little classes and training. One lady was speaking on how God created us all unique and how we should not be judging His creation and putting it down by calling it ugly etc. Seemed like a typical anti-bullying speech with some "God" thrown in. Then she went on to ask us "do you put yourself down and call yourself ugly, fat, and stupid? Because you are saying all that about someone God created good and beautiful and intelligent."

I thought about that and later during worship I knelt down on the ground and cried. Now I did not cry in public, too many people looking, asking if I was okay, and giving me hugs... (and sometimes that can be okay, but other times I just want to be left alone) Anyway I was crying because I realized I was calling God's creation ugly and fat and stupid and it was not someone else it was me. I was basically saying "No God I know better. You made me ugly and stupid, and even though I am okay with it now You still did a horrible job." I repented (hence the tears) and asked for forgiveness (hence more tears).

Some time after I had gotten back home I was reading the Bible and read some verses in Luke

Let me write them down for you! :)

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

I used to think that judging in general was bad, but it depends on the way you judge and the sentence you give. The thought came to mind on that missions trip that I was judging others, but when I read this I realized something important. I look at a person and notice a few things: how they are dressed, their hair, their jewelry, how much make up, the way they sat down, the way they stood up, the way their hands were positioned, how their nose looked, how they ate their food, what they said and the reactions of others to what they said. It was an exhaustive list and since I don't usually talk much to new people (or much to anyone at all back then) I had so much time to notice those details.

I don't think that I truly started "judging" people until I changed my behavior or the way I looked because of another person's behavior or the way they looked. I would think "okay that person eats their food and it looks gross," so I would change the way I ate my food so it was not "gross". I would think "mmm the way her hair looks I do not like it," so if I put my hair that way I would be very self aware of my hair. If there was something that I liked about a person I would try to change myself to be like that. And all the things I mentioned I would focus on whenever I was with people. By focusing on all that made me "shy" and very self-conscious. Not cool. 

The measure you use it will be measured back to you. I realized that I was judging others and myself and when I decided to stop (I apologized to God and said I would change) I was much happier and a bit more outgoing especially with people I know. (perhaps that could become a problem later, but then I will write about it:)) What I was judging in others I started to judge in myself. 

Verses I quoted:

Luke 6:37-38 (ESV)

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

P.S. I still judge people and myself sometimes, but I do try to stop it when I notice it. And I don't particular like my nose all the time and I noticed that I don't like to draw/sketch noses... (Yes, yes I know if I just read all that I wrote I should not be thinking badly about my nose...)